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[26 Oct 2003|12:48am] |
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mood |
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what a great weekend. i couldn't be better.
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[23 Oct 2003|11:24am] |
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mood |
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I'm in my Sci Vis II class right now. I am supposed to be working on my project right now, but I can't figure out how to get my character to do a cartwheel, so I gave up.
Life is GREAT. I'm not really worried about anything. I am kinda upset about my grades this semester, they aren't as good as I'd like them to be. I still have the second half of this semester to pull them up though.
This weekend is gonna be bangin..
Friday = Hangin out with my most favorite person Lindsay.
Saturday = Party for a friend, then to Aces Basement to see SELF PORTRAIT and ONE SIX CONSPIRACY.
Sunday = Watching the Panthers game.
..If any of my LJ buddies want to hang out this weekend let me know!
MUCHO LOVE,
j-mintz.
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[20 Oct 2003|10:53am] |
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I haven't updated in a while. But things have been good. I finally got that laptop hooked up in my room with a wireless network (cheap roadrunner), so I like it alot. Someone stole my cd player on Thursday night so I dont have anything to listen to while I'm going down the road, but I can deal with it. Im getting rid of some of my bad habits and trying to get all my priorities straight. Because from what you've seen in my old journal entries I haven't been the happiest man. But im doin really good now.
I need money for my Friction Fest ticket so I can see The Lawrence Arms and One Six Conspiracy.
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[12 Oct 2003|11:43am] |
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"If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.
A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.
If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.
You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way.
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room,
when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
So call it quits or get a grip.
Say you wanted a solution. You just wanted to be missed.
You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold.
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.
Spring keeps you ever close.
You are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin.
Standing trial for your sins.
Holding onto yourself the best you can.
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins."
---
I feel like i'm trying to do the right thing, but I cant decide. Trying not to care has helped until it seems as though she doesnt care either. Then I wonder if I was happier when the feelings were there and I was open with them.
No theres no way.
I have messed up things for this person and made them feel as tho they were tied down just by being their friend.
Why?
I didnt mean to, I cared too much it seems.
What do I do now? If I sit here and convince myself that my feelings are gone.. what do I look forward to everyday?
Im not used to this. and I dont like it.
I don't call, because I get in the way or I interupt whatever theyre doing.
Or I worry about confronting them, If they want to talk to me back or if its just gotten old to them now.
So, what do I do? Who cares anyways.. If I talk to her I start to like her again... SOMETHING THAT BEAUTIFUL DOESNT GO UNNOTICED.
And its not that Im sad or depressed. Im just a little bit confused, and not sure on how to act on this situation or what to do about it.
"I spoke the words but never
Gave a thought to what they all could mean.
I know that this is what you want.
You know that you are not alone.
Need you like water in my lungs."
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[08 Oct 2003|05:25pm] |
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mood |
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rejuvenated |
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And all I
Need to know
Is that I'm somethin you'll be missing
--------
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
-------
I swear, you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking that you always had it way too easy
-------
... thats right some good ol Taking Back Sunday, dont hate. but they can explain things better than I can.
So yeah, I've been thinking its time for me to realize what I'm doing and get myself on track. My emotions are going back and forth I dont know what I want, or who I want, or why I feel the way I do. I am usually a really laid back guy and I haven't been recently. I decided today its time to have fun and not stress about stuff that doesnt matter in the end before its too late. I have good friends that treat me good and act happy to see me and talk to me everyday. I have bad habits.. I'll get over those. So to everyone out there, Josh Mintz is officialy a happy kid from this point on. Dont try and make him upset, it wont happen. Trust me on this.
Mucho Love!
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[08 Oct 2003|11:05am] |
October 15th: Norma Jean, Beloved, and Evergreen Terrace at Tremont Music Hall.
October 17th: Between the Buried and Me, Hopesfall at Tremont Music Hall.
who wants to go with me?
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[07 Oct 2003|11:05pm] |
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yeah, im considering retiring my journal for good this time. no one reads it and i know for sure no one comments. everyone has comments except me, and thats crap right there.
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[05 Oct 2003|04:48pm] |
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It's been a long weekend, lots of hanging out with random friends, driving around, football game, watching the football game, hanging out at the space, the usual. It had its ups and downs, but overall it was pretty fun. I was mad that I was low on money so I couldn't attend the TMP CD release show. I heard it was really good so good job to all those guys. I'm not really sure what to write about so I thought I'd just make a little update and tell you how my weekend went. I have a few thoughts before I end this.
-Reids hair is hott. (i saw the picture)
-I am broke.
-Jenny bought me the Brand New cd :)
-I need a haircut.
-I love you.
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[29 Sep 2003|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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Dear Diary,
Today I was walking down in the hallway and started to cough and so I went into the bathroom to spit and there was green stuff. It was rad,ROCK. Now whenever I cough I feel like someone shot me in my left side. I diagnosed myself with "Death Syndrome".. the symptoms are green spit and side pains. So wish me luck as I try and overcome this powerful sickness.
It is cold outside, I am so happy.
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[28 Sep 2003|11:04pm] |
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mood |
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5 things you are wearing:
1. necklase
2. pj pants
3. boxers
4.-----
5.-----
5 things you are doing right now:
1. talking to people
2. filling this out
3. watching the news
4. scratchin my head
5.
5 things you ate in the last 24 hours:
1. bread
2. birthday cake
3. gum
4. a cookie
5. -----
5 things you did so far today:
1. cleaned the house
2. went to the practice space
3. watched the carolina game
4. got online
5. laughed
5 things you can hear right now:
1. my dads laptop
2. the tv
3. me typing
4. my computer buzzing
5. -----
5 thoughts in your head:
1. i cant wait till next weekend
2. this weekend has sucked
3. im tired of waiting on lindsay to get done with calculus
4. im tired
5. hmm i want a red bull
5 things you look for when you're picking a
girlfriend/boyfriend:
1. trusting
2. shorter than me
3. good sense of humor
4. respects me and my choices
5. fun to be around
5 things you love...
1. girls that give me presents when they know im feeling down
2. cuddling (yes)
3. my Funeral for a Friend cd
4. my dog
5. my true friends
5 things you hate:
1. waking up early
2. people that lie
3. that my favorite jacket broke
4. stomach aches
5. flies
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[27 Sep 2003|01:53am] |
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***For a second I could be, all the things that you've always dreamed. A second later, or so it seems..I wont ammount to anything.***
I don't really know where to start about tonite, based on the fact that I dont know what my deal is or why im feeling this way. Im tired of not being happy, it's been this way for too long now. Im happy because I have good friends, and I have special things with special people. But not the most special thing of all which I want with someone soo bad. I don't understand how i'm stuck in this position. Considering I am the most jealous person ever and the most impatient person I get upset easily. I just want to wrap her in my arms and know that she wants them to be around her and not have that doubt in the back of my head. Know that she wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to her and that she feels the same as I do. All these things have always been so unbalanced, its partially my fault, but it drives you nuts after a while. You dont know what you want, if your happy, wor hy you can't get over them.
I want to be able to call someone and not feel like im bothering them and end up having to end a conversation I wanted to continue on for a long time.
Its so sad, I have the house to myself and I could be enjoying it and lieing around but instead I curl myself up in a little ball and watch reality television on MTV "Newlyweds" and think about how lucky those two are. (Call me a douche I don't care).
I never thought I had fallen in love, or experienced what love is, but i think i have experienced love whether it be based on friendship or what. Its there and I can't help but think about having a relationship with this girl constantly, to me I dont understand how it doesnt work out or why it wont work out. Its so great, she makes me smile...when im not worrying. Most of you know what I'm talking about or who I'm talking about. But it doesnt matter anymore, everybody knows im pitiful and everyone knows that trying to convince me to get over it is useless because it won't happen. I dont know whats wrong with me.
So, now I'm gonna go curly up in my ball and maybe someone will call me and cheer me up, then again it is 2:00. Forget it.
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[22 Sep 2003|05:38pm] |
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mood |
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today was an ugly day. it was cloudy outside and rainy, not only that, but no one payed me any attention all day, even the ones that consider me a major part of their life. i got bad tests back in all of my classes, im sick. not to mention lauren didnt come to school today. all in all a bad day.
i want to go to bed so tomorow will come.
...thats all i feel like writing...
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[20 Sep 2003|11:15pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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I'm not feeling to hot. I've got some sort of cold and I dont have the energy to update my journal in depth tonight.
Someone bring me some coffee :(
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| HAPPY BIRTHDAY REID! |
[19 Sep 2003|10:53am] |
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I know, I know what it feels like to be alone.
I know, I know what it feels like to be at home.
I like, I like stopping to say hello.
It's my life, my life why can't we take this slow?
Why can't we take this slow?
Well I've been through these phases, I've walked
Through these mazes.
I'm sick and I'm a little tired.
It sure isn't fair but I'm not aware of the patience
That's required.
If I could have kissed her every time that I missed
Her I still would be out the door.
But now and again, I sure need a friend now isn't
That what she's for?
________
WOW. It's been a really long time since I've updated my journal and I didnt even realize it until I had lots of people IM me and suggest that I update this sonbitch. And what a great day to do it on then the day that we are out of school for no reason at all. I love it.
Well, since I havent updated you havent heard me whine or rant and rave about certain events in my life. Not a lot has gone down in J-Mintz's life, but this is probably the first time I have been truly happy and in a good mood in a long while. For a while I was sick, I'm not sure what it was, allergies maybe. I could barely breath out of my nose, I was tired all the time, I felt weak and I was constantly sick to my stomach and every now and then I'd get basically a migrain headache. But amazingly enough, on this great day, I am starting to feel better.
HURRICANE ISABELL! That stupid beast of a hurricane kept me inside ALL yesterday afternoon. I did basically everything you can do while sitting in the comfort of your house.. the internet, cleaned my room, cleaned my living room, ate dinner, played video games, slept, took a shower, organized my bathroom (??), and watched lots of news casts about the hurricane. And then my dad wakes me up around midnight to inform me of no school and i was jumping for joy, so I watched tons and tons of reality television on mtv and then fell asleep.
I love my friends. I have realized that now that I might not have a lot of friends that stay constant, but the ones that I do have I love them to death. They keep in sane and make me extremely happy day in and day out so THANK YOUUUUUUUU. and I WUV ALL OF YOU!
Yet, I miss all of those that are going through college life right now. They need to come home and visit me b/c im going through withdrawl like whoa.
I am now officially addicted to coffee. I hadnt been a fan for a while and then one morning I thought id go pick some up because I was tired and now I go to starbucks atleast twice a day. Its real sad, but Its so good and keeps me goin throughout the day. So MUCHO LOVE FOR THE VANILLA LATTE!
I dont know what im doing tonight yet. I might go to Aces Basement to see Saosin play. Because it is cheap and they are quite good. And that way I could wish Reid a merry merry happy birthday. But if I end up not going HAPPY BIRTHDAY REID.
Im going to try and update more.
.....And thats all she wrote....
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[10 Sep 2003|09:34pm] |
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confused |
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for the past few days i was convinced that life was good, and i was going to cherish it now before its gone. i came to the conclusion that i really am not that happy that i wish i was. im not depressed. no, and im not sad. but in my head somethings not there, i dont know if its the fact that im having trouble finding a relationship with a girl, confused about the relationships with friends i have now. i spend alot of my time thinking what could be, and what could happen, yet none of these things happen and i get irritated. school is getting on my nerves. some days i feel like everyone loves me, the next day i feel like no one cares and no ones notices me.
it puts me in an angry mood, and i hate it.
my laptop came today, but like most things it doesnt work and i dont think were gonna be able to figure it out anytime soon. we got ripped off and our money was stole, and now im laptopless.
i have a US history test to study for but right now im not motivated enough to do anything or look at any work.
... i want a tall vanilla latte.
thats all she had written... ?
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[08 Sep 2003|09:23pm] |
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"Call you on the phone to see if you even care
You don't give a damn
so, why should I?"
one six conspiracy is so good.
anyways, not a very exciting day. i got my paycheck which was pretty shitty because its a weak 71 dollars. I went to go cash it at the bank and they were closed because my dumbass lost track of time. tomorow i will have 71 dollars in my pocket to last me until summer :(. i guess thats what i get for quitting my job.
so we have a mouse that is living under our couch, but we cant find it and we cant kill it. my mom claims that if i find it she'll give me a 100 dollars. i really think shes exagerating but thatd be badass if she gave me a 100 bucks for hitting a mouse.
my new laptop is a month late getting here, hopefully it will be here tomorow. woop.
and thats all she wrote.
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[07 Sep 2003|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 cold..and i love it! |
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im so happy. it is chilly outside and has been for the past couple days. which means fall is coming which means GOOD weather which means winter is next, which is GREAT weather.
i had a pretty good weekend. Friday i hit up some Applebee's with Jessica, Cathy, and Nick and then we went to the football game. Afterwards we went to a couple parties and then stayed the night at Jon's house. Saturday I slept in and went to Smith and Whitley in the mornin and then sat and talked to Brittany at Starbucks for a long time. It was sad whenever we were leaving because she is at Appalachian and I miss her alot just because shes one of the only ones I can talk to about ANYTHING forever and ever (love ya britt). Sunday I spent a while at Barnes and Noble with my dearest Lauren and we did some school work and then I headed to work for my LAST DAY.
mad props to Adam for hookin this journal up. he rocks my world.
and thats all she wrote.
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[03 Sep 2003|10:48pm] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
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no more J&S Cafeteria for me. i quit the job today. don't really know why, i was tired of working and having to do school work all at the same time, stresses me out.
today was the most stressfull day ive had in a long time. it was one of those days where you dont get excited about anything, and you just dont care what anyone thinks or what anyone has to say. not to mention my grades were horrible. i was disapointed in myself considering i tried pretty hard so far. then i came home and realized i had nothing to look forward to and nothing to do at all. blehhh.
jealousy has gotten the best of me lately.
i just wanna crank the air conditioning and then rap myself in a blanket and lay down and not have to hear anyone make smart ass remarks towards me and all i can hear is my own heart beating and the thoughts in my head.
i love my friends, but sometimes there are important people in my life that i dont understand and theyre feelings towards me are like a roller coaster, they cant ever decide whether they really like talking to me or not. and i dont like that.
gnight.
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[03 Sep 2003|05:26pm] |
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mood |
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last night was The Necessary and The Rocket Summer show. it was pretty fun, both of these bands blew me away even though I had seen The Rocket Summer before, he just amazes me more and more everytime. Here are the pictures::
The Rocket Summer
( http://www.breakingboundaries.net/gallery/album64 )
&
The Necessary
( http://www.breakingboundaries.net/gallery/album42 )
Im still not very good with the whole EL JAY html shiznat. So you'll have to deal with that for now.
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[02 Sep 2003|11:19am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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i finally got my live journal back up and running because of popular demand. i deleted all my old journal entries and changed the look and everything. it feels good to be back on the good ol EL JAY.
tonight im going to see THE ROCKET SUMMER and THE NECESSARY at Aces Basement. i get to see a lot of people i haven't seen in a while since ive been busy with work and school. and im really excited to hear The Necessary.
[note to reid:: i want my picture]
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oneblackfire's journal